Sweet 16

16.

A number so meaningful to me. 

A number that has brought me "luck". 

An age, a year, in which I can never forget. 

I finally got myself together and went on a 4 mile walk with Napoleon.

He of course was a happy camper. 

And I reflected. 

I thought about what have I learned since I was 16?

I've  learned so much, I've grown into such a different, yet the same person...

When I was 16, I was still, well for lack of a better world in a "bubble". A naive, innocent bubble. I thought the world was good, daises and ponies and what not. 

So much has changed in me and around me since then...

SO the top 16 things I've learned or has grown stronger since I was Sweet Sixteen...

(in no order)

1. Parents can be wrong.

2. You have to fight about what you care for, what feels right. 

3. Happiness is a choice, a choice that's often in front of you...everyday.

4. True friends are hard to come by. Find them, keep them, and don't let them go.

5. You will always find a way to survive, even in the darkest moments.

6. Ice cream, no matter how cold it is outside always warms the right places.

7. Pizza, if not controlled, is still a food I can eat everyday

8. Grilled cheese is still my comfort food.

9. Having endless love for someone is a feeling that stays un-describable. 

10. You can truly miss someone so much it hurts.

11. The past should always stay in the past.

12. Living "in the moment" is a hard task. 

13. No time should be spent on "regrets". It's what you were feeling, thinking, wanting at that time in your life, you can't get that time back...so why dwell?

14. Letting go is sometimes the best and only answer

15. Having your heartbroken is one of the most horrible and painful things you can probably go through. 

16. Always take time to see who and what is in front of you, to smile, and to love them with all that you have.  

15

Fall is Near...

My blogs have been such cop-outs lately. I know. I am fully aware.
But...
I can't even concentrate on one thing long enough before I start getting a headache and wanting to sleep. Let alone, try and form my thoughts into sentences...oie.
And yes.
Napoleon probably hates me because our walks are short.
But I'm sorry kid and blog. I'm a bit under the weather.


So for tonight's entry, I want to share some words from Mr. Dickens.
I can't remember how I stumbled upon these words in particular, but, I know I came across it my first Fall in the city.
It's not officially Fall yet. But you're starting to feel it here. The weather, the sun saying good-bye sooner, kids are in school, leaves are starting to turn, the fashion, the air....Fall in Nyc is such a wonderful time. I cannot say it enough times. But Fall also means the fading of the tans and summer.
So in other words...words far better than mine:

“There is no month in the whole year in which nature wears a more beautiful

appearance than in the month of August. Spring has many beauties,

and May is a fresh and blooming month, but the charms of this time of year

are enhanced by their contrast with the winter season. August has no such

advantage. It comes when we remember nothing but clear skies, green

fields, and sweet-smelling flowers—when the recollection of snow, and ice,

and bleak winds, has faded from our minds as completely as they have disappeared

from the earth—and yet what a pleasant time it is.” 

Charles Dickens 

Numero 14

Portraits.
Portrait photography is probably one of my favorite styles of of photography out there today.
I like to keep my eyes out there for new book releases from old or new photographers to you know, always have "one foot in the door".  I also almost always look at a lot of online contests to see the raw talent out there. It always brings a nice breath of fresh air into the photography world.


Today since, well I'm a bit under the weather, I decided to just sit and relax with Napoleon and take a look at what's going on out there.
There are certain photographers that I follow because I admire their work. One of them was holding some type of portrait contest and so, now I'm sharing the ones that spoke out to me...
Although... I'm a little biased because although I do appreciate all portrait photography, there's ones that I'm always drawn to, a specific style and color.
Anyhoots. Some I'm sure are photoshopped, but what's not these days?  But IN my eyes. These photos are beautiful regardless:


This first one I found stumbled upon...photographer unknown:

The rest are from a photo contest:

Contestant Finalist:Monika Buglowski

 Finalist: Asanka-Brendon

Finalist: Alessandra Fiorini

Finalist: Jenna Holmes

Finalist: Kristin Hayes

Finalist: Lan Lamoste

Finalist: Rikki D. Dy-Liacco

Finalist: Brittany Mirabal

Finalist: Chantel Concei

Finalist: Christina Lynch Straw

Finalist: Donna Todd

Number 13

13!
Fun fact:
I'm moving and will be living on the 13th floor of a building.
I'm excited!


A rainy night in the city.
Poor Napoleon No walk, just potty breaks.
I think he and I are getting sick. Sniffles, fevers, the works!


I wanna share a picture, for today's blog.
(To change it up)...ALTHOUGH The picture has words!


It put a smile on my face.
And I agree completely.

12

1-2!
(one of my favorite numbers)




It's raining today.
And i love it.
Napoleon and I have begun to pack again.
I wonder when it is that I can fully empty a bin, fully unpack, fully hang pictures and never see a box and tape for a long while.
I know moving is a part of life, especially being young and all but I'm ready to find a place, and decorate it, and call it home for seriously 5 years. If that's asking too much I'll settle for 2.
Anyways. More on that later.


Because of the beautiful rain, I got to work from my bed! So Napoleon and I have just been catching up on projects, cleaning, being lazy, cuddling and watching movies with hot cocoa SOOO of course this blog will be a lazy one.


I got this in an email today from a friend of mine
titled "lets re get to know each other".
Thought it was somewhat interesting.
Hence. Putting it in my blog.
For no thoughts have crossed my mind today. Too tired, too many projects and the rain is making concentration a hard task.

* / this indicates sometimes haha

Check all that apply. 

APPEARANCE
[ ] I am shorter than 5’4.
[] I think I’m ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ x] I have a tattoo
[/] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I wear glasses
[] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x ] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[x ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ x] I have piercings in places besides my ears
[ ] I have freckles.

FAMILY
[ ] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[ ] I’ve run away from home.
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I want to adopt someday.

SCHOOL/WORK
[x] I’m in school.
[x ] I have a job.
[x ] I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.

[x] I almost always do my homework.
[ x] I’ve missed a week or more of school.
[ x] I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I’ve stolen something from my job
[ ] I’ve been fired.

EMBARRASSMENT
[ ] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[ ] I’ve glued my hand to something.
[ x] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x ] I’ve had my trousers rip in public.

HEALTH
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x ] I’ve gotten stitches.
[x ] I’ve broken a bone.
[ ] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[x] I’ve sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[x ] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ x] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.
[x ] I have/had asthma.

TRAVELING
[x ] I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[ x] I’ve been to Canada.
[ x] I’ve been to Mexico.
[ ] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I’ve been to Japan.
[ ] I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I’ve been to Europe.
[ ] I’ve been to Africa.

EXPERIENCES
[x ] I’ve gotten lost in my city.
[x] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[x] I’ve wished on a shooting star.

[ x] I’ve seen a meteor shower.

[ x] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ x] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ x] I’ve been to a casino.
[  ] I’ve been skydiving.
[x ] I’ve gone skinny dipping.
[x] I’ve played spin the bottle.
[ ] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ x] I’ve crashed a car.
[x ] I’ve been skiing.
[ x] I’ve been in a play.
[ ] I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
[x ] I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone.
[x] I’ve ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x ] I’ve eaten sushi.
[x ] I’ve been snowboarding.

RELATIONSHIPS
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced
[ ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[ ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
[ x] I’ve told someone I loved them and didn’t get a clear response.
[x] I’ve felt rejected even if I wasn’t.
[ ] I’ve loved/liked someone I knew a friend loved/liked.

HONESTY
[ ] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[ ] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x ] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[x] I’ve cheated on a test.
[ ] I’ve been suspended from school.

BAD TIMES
[x ] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I’m depressed.
[ ] I take/have taken anti-depressants.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with anorexia or bullimia.
[x] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[x ] I’ve woken up crying.

DEATH
[ ] I’m afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x ] I’ve seen someone dying.

MATERIALISM
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ x] I collect comic books.
[ x] I own something from The Gap.
[ x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ x] I own something from Abercrombie.

RANDOM
[ ] I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ x] I don’t kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x ] I curse regularly.
[ x] I sing in the shower.
[/ ] I am a morning person.
[  ] I paid for my cell phone ringtone.
[/ ] I obsess over grammar.
[x ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have “x”s in my screen name
[/ ] I love being neat
[ x] I love Spam.
[ ] I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day
[x ] I can cook.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, black or blue.
[x ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[x ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun.
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly
[x ] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online a lot, even as an away message.
[x] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ x] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[xxxxx!!!!!] I can’t sleep if there is a roach in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x ] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ x] I play video games.
[x] I’m good at remembering faces.
[ ] I’m good at remembering names
[x ] I’m good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

11

Sept. 11. 2010.
9/11. NYC.

I was a Soph. in Highschool when Sept 11 hit. My family just moved from Palmdale to Ventura County. The house that was bought wasn't ready for move in so we stayed with a family friend. 
I was having breakfast and the news was always on, for the family liked to have it on as the girls got ready for school. 
It was then I saw the 2nd tower get hit, as I was eating my Cap'n Crunch with the 2 little girls.

When I got to school of course everyone was talking about it. And we didn't do anything in my first 3 classes but watch the news. 
When I got to my English class the teacher made us write down on a piece of paper how we felt. 
I remember writing "I don't know how to feel, I don't know how to say". And I really didn't. I literally couldn't comprehend what the eff was going on! .  It wasn't because I was over-come with emotions, I just really had no idea what was going on...


NOW that I  have lived in a city, a beast that has stolen my heart for almost 6 years now.  I UNDERSTAND. Not just the politics of it all and what happened. But I understand Sept 11. on a deeper meaning... on a deeper level. 
And NOW i have no words, because I can't find the write ones to describe Sept 11 in NYC. 
Tonight. You can literally close your eyes. And feel with your heart what this city is all about. 
Always remember. Never forgotten. Honoring lives.
I love you, New York. 

A photo taken from Brooklyn by a Friend. 

10

Double Digits!!
whooooooopie
Seriously. excited.

Fashion's Night Out 
http://www.fashionsnightout.com/


Last year, when things were bad everywhere, the great Anna Wintour devised a plan.
To initiate shopping for everyone. Lots of stores and boutiques joined in, offered incentives to shoppers such as "20% off this or 50% off that" along with lots of free booze, entertainment and and food.


This year was a bigger and better turn out than last. There were more store participants and more incentives. 
It's a good night for the fashion and the fashion advertising world. 
It's a fun night.
My night included
Champagne
Appetizers
Phillip Lim
Sarah Silverman
MAC
Pizza
Champagne 
Ice-cream
Urban Outfitters
Food Trucks 
Friends and laughter. 


Fashion is more than clothes and I know that's a hard concept to grasp and hard to explain to those who don't really care.
But tonight was wonderful. It's everything I love to do x10, I'm pleased to see that this would be my future soon! And I'm pretty sure the AIDS foundation got a wonderful sum to help them out! :)


oh. 
Napoleon had a very short walk this evening.
He's barking as I type. He wants to playyy!

Number 9

My wonderful friends Harukieeee and Gabe (funny how when your friends get married your friend list grows) came to visit their old stomping grounds NYC and of course mee!! yay!


It was a wonderful day.
Haruka and I keep in touch very often that when we saw each other again after a year we didn't really have any catching up to do. So we went straight to what we do best:
EATING


When we were having dessert we all had a conversation about "those" people. Those people that bugg the crapp outta you.


Soooo here it is
I decided for now to focus on New York because really this blog would be too long otherwise.




IN Nyc (since ya, you know I live here):
-people who do not have their effin' metro card out and ready. AND
DIG through their purse/pocket/wallet without even stepping to the side!!!
C'mon you know that you need that little buddy out to slide and get through and if you can't find it then pleaseeee step aside so other people can get through.
-people in big groups who walk in a horizontal line in front of you, almost always taking their time.
Seriously. Walk in twos. The sidewalk ain't big enough.
-people who are walking in front of you and then all of the sudden stop.
For whatever reason they just stop. Like something inside of them clicked and said STOP. Whatever it is you're looking at, checking out, or taking a picture of, please remember that you're walking in NYC. We use our legs as transportation. Stopping abruptly like that does cause accidents.
-people who feel the need to sit super close to you in the subway car when there's empty seats all around. -people who try and squeeze in a little gap between you and the other person so they can sit their ass down.
C'mon. Just wait a stop.
-people who hoot and holler'.
Get some class.
-people who just walk down the street with big ol' poor conditioned umbrellas, when it's not even raining.
WATCH out. Your umbrella seriously almost poked my eye out twice!
-people who have loud conversations.
You do know you're sharing the subway?


I'm sure there's plenty more.
But i'm doing things backwards tonight.
Im writing then walking Napoleon who now needs to use the restroom very badly.

8!

Wow.
8 days. 8 Straight blogs.


Charms and Jewels
(Behind the Curtain #1).


Napoleon and I walked up to Union Square (which really is never a good idea to begin with) because I was feeling the urge to window shop at one of my favorite stores.


Lately!
I've been on this jewelry craze. I don't really just buy jewelry because it's pretty and what not, I actually buy, collect and it takes me FOREVER to decide on which ones I want to buy. (I mean hello, that's a lot of money being forked over.)
So I haven't bought jewelry in over 2 years. NOT ONCE PIECE! I can't believe it, not even my friends can believe it.
Jewelry is one of my "things", I suppose if I were to find a root somewhere it'd be from my Grandma (Mommyla) who's always been into it, taught me and has given some of my favorite pieces to this day. Not a lot of people know about it and I rarely ask for it as a present from my family unless I'm super specific, I mean I'm rather picky.


Anyhoots.
Last night the lady was talking about her charms. So before Napoleon and I headed out, I took out my charm bracelet. I started it when I was 16. There's so much stuff on it, and there's so much more that needs to go on it. I used to get at least 3 charms a year for it..till of course 2 years ago.
Charm bracelets, I think, is something every lady should have. It's like a little physical journey of your life, who you are and what you've been through.
Charms are after-all charming. :) 
Maybe a day soon enough will allow me to get back to my charm bracelet....
Digging through my charms and jewels is what prompted my need to walk Napoleon over to ABC.


Ahh!
I don't even know where to begin.
So many effin' goodies I want. I can't choose. And I HAVE to choose. I'm on a tight budget.
So as Napoleon was getting ooooohssss, ahhhhs, awwwwws, gahhhhs,  I was oogling and ahhing over the jewelry in front of me.
I love that store. It's a floor of independent jewelers, meaning...it has TONS of one of kind of pieces eep!


Okay I haven't decided and there's really no, none, 0, zip, point to this blog, only to just purely talk about the material things I'm lusting over right now.
So I decided to show pics!


(they are really more than this! ) womp womp

Number 7

A Dream is Love...and elbow grease. 


As Napoleon and I walked around Battery Park, I couldn't stop thinking about our guest speaker in my Publicity Workshop class.
She's an amazing woman and reminded me that a dream-is love- and it takes a lot of elbow grease to make it into a reality, but only stop once you've obtained it.


A little bio about this lady:
Her name is Deanna she's probably around her late 50s
She graduated with flying colors from Parsons
Lived in Paris for about 10 years
Designed and sold for Bloomingdales and Neiman Marcus and she and Betsey Johnson are best friends.
After many successful years as a fashion designer/buyer she wants to go into the jewelry business.


What I learned/re learned...through her words and story.
After many years in the fashion industry and even her best friend being one of the top designers today, she still to this day (after 6 years) is having a hard time launching her business.
To think she had all the connections and her jewelry is actually pretty unique, beautiful, with amazing quality and definitely beautifully vintage giving it that "one of a kind, super special feel".
Her bracelets have graced many fashion magazines, maybe not a direct shot, but it was there, and credit was in the back of the magazine.
Her bracelet was featured in a book written by a good author friend of hers.
Her bracelets graced the cover of 3 very important fashion newspapers over the holidays.
And still she couldn't get the plane off the ground so to speak.
She invested in hiring someone to get her website together and started writing a blog.
After creating a website and dishing out money she learned that in creating a website, you have to enter codes, and do things a certain way for GOOGLE to pick it up. Her font, of course is not Arial or Times and so when you google her she shows up on the 10th page or something rather. Who really goes beyond the 2nd page max in a google search? But she didn't want to change her font, her website is very her and very perfect for her jewelry. And she didn't want to pay extra for the extra html this and the codes that etc.
So as always, in the creative field, everything is a double edge sword. Now out of money, where to turn to?
This is where a publicist would do his/her magic work, but then again, that needs money.
So she returned to passing out business cards, self-promotion (wearing her jewelry everywhere), and getting back in touch with people she knew.
She admitted herself, it was disheartening at some points, to get voicemails and then not knowing who to turn to with the recession, the shitty economy everyone in the industry had been shuffled around or laid off.
So where is she now? She finally got a break (hopefully)when out of nowhere her old friend from Paris thought of her and is now putting her on QVC for 2 shows. So hopefully, now she really get the plane off the ground. Fingers crossed.


Her story is like the book "Tipping Point" (great book) IN the sense that
You never know what's going to hit, how it's going to hit and when it's going to hit.


These days it boils down to just plain old persistence and hard work.
It doesn't know matter who you know, what if they can't help you?
What matters is you keep going, every little thing counts.


I've been "officially" trying to get my modeling career for 2 years now.
In these 2 years I've been signed, gotten a few things here and there, met a lot of important people and still, I haven't gotten my "big" break.
Deanna's story and the book reminded me, that even though it may seem like you're not getting anywhere, you actually are.
You can't just meet people and boom, they'll help you out or you can't always be the chosen lucky one and all of the sudden be an over-night sensation.
The point of the matter is that you love what you do, you're doing whatever it takes to do it, so really, there should be no stopping, besides it's the journey not the destination right?

Numero 6!

Labor Day


Again, I'd like to start this blog off again, wishing another dear friend of mine Miss Celia- A Very Happy Birthday!!
3000 miles has nothin' on us! :)


So today, basically Napoleon and I were out and about from 10:30am-7:30pm.
It was a wonderful yet exhausting day.


Labor day was made a holiday here in NYC.
Here's a brief history. Thanks to Wikipedia!
The first Labor Day in the United States was observed on September 5, 1882 in New York City, by the Central Labor Union of New York, the nation's first integrated major trade union.^[1] It became a federal holiday in 1894, when, following the deaths of a number of workers at the hands of the U.S. military and U.S. Marshals during the Pullman Strike, President Grover Cleveland put reconciliation with the labor movement as a top political priority. Fearing further conflict, legislation making Labor Day a national holiday was rushed through Congressunanimously and signed into law a mere six days after the end of the strike.^[2] The September date originally chosen by the CLU of NY and observed by many of the nation's trade unions for the past several years was selected rather than the more widespread International Workers' Day because Cleveland was concerned that observance of the latter would stir up negative emotions linked to the Haymarket Affair, for which it had been observed to commemorate.^[3] All U.S. states, the District of Columbia, and the territories had made it a stautory holiday.


Now Labor day of course, as all holidays has evolved. 
To me, it symbolizes several things:
1-The mark of the end of the summer which 
a-means Fall is soon on its merry way
b-it's time for classes!
which then leads to 
c-LAST Summer Hoorahs!! 
2-It's the day of rest-NO Labor on Labor day
3-The beginning of Football season!
4-Fashion Week! 
and a repeat
5-Fall! Crisp air, Fall gear, Boots...Autumn in NYC is Wonderful! 


Today was spent as follows:
Napoleon and I meet Victoria for a scrumptious brunch. We then walked over to do some window shopping in one of our favorite areas: the West Village:. Afterwards we departed and Napoleon made our way down to our favorite simple dog park at : Union Square: where he played, I read a book (needed for class). Afterwards we walked to grab a quick dinner (a McDonalds Happy Meal spoke out to me and yes unhealthy and not what great for my diet, it was scrumptious and really I haven't stepped foot in a McDonalds for at least 6 months!). We then walked slowly home, watched all the kids get their last hoorahs! in, watched people as they had bags in hand from all the labor day sales and felt the air start to get cooler as the sun started to hide behind the buildings. 


It was such a simple and wonderful day. A day where you can feel everyone just enjoying it for what it is. Almost like a Norman Rockwell painting. Everyone had smiles, every store had sales and everyone's tan was fading. 


I thought to myself, as I reached the apt, that these days are often taken for granted. How I used to love labor day as a kid for all the above reasons. How I knew it was going to be the day that the last hide-n-seek game played with the neighbors for awhile. How I wanted to savor every minute of the day, from big breakfasts-slip-in-slides-lemonades and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches-tug-of-wars-games-dinner-hot showers-hot cocoas underneath the stars and finally bed. And now, as an "adult", I did just that. I may of savored every minute differently, but, it didn't matter. The truth of the matter is I did. 


It's so hard these days, to sit back and enjoy the simplicity a beautiful day can offer. So today, tired as I may be from the night before, I had a wonderful reminder of how things used to be when I was younger, at how simple life was, at how the simple things made the very best memories and how the simple things always get harder to see when you get older but when you do see them it truly puts everything back in perspective.